Adventures of Ban and Jak: The Dynamic Duo
by The Villain A
Summary: This is not yaoi. Think "Fargo". Jakotsu is straight in this, by the way. Call me a het fanboy.


The setting sun bathed the highway in a yellow-orange glow as the car drove along infinity. The vehicle contained two young men of presumably Japanese descent; the driver was brawny, tall, and handsome-faced, with black hair tied in a long braid. The passenger had a skinny frame, black hair in a very short ponytail, an effeminate face, and despite being the older of the two, a voice usually found in pre-pubescent boys. "I'm BORED," Jakotsu whined, resting his face on his hand and propping his elbow on the door. 'How much longer 'till we get to where we need to be?"  
"It'll take another day to reach Shikon City," the driver Bankotsu responded, tired of his companion's complaints. "But we've been going since this morning!" Jakotsu protested. A frustrated Bankotsu slapped the wheel and turned to the other man. "Do you want to drive?" At this, Jakotsu looked at the floor, ashamed. "I don't have a license," he finally admitted.  
Bankotsu forgot his irritation and broke into a wide grin, looking over. "You're kidding." Jakotsu remained silent, and Bankotsu laughed aloud, amused at the absurdity. "You've gotta be fucking kidding. A killer for hire who can't drive. I've heard everything." Bankotsy patted his buddy reassuringly on the shoulder before refocusing on the road. "Don't take it personally. You're still a good guy. In about an hour, we'll be in Tai City. We can stay overnight and get something to eat. And get laid. I really gotta get laid." Jakotsu nodded in agreement. "Me too," he replied, before inquiring, "Why does Naraku want us to kidnap this lady anyway? I've never heard of her." Bankotsu shrugged. "Naraku said he's got some problem with her husband. Guess he wants us to take his woman away to shake him up. Don't get too worried about it. Just do the job, take the money, and run." Jakotsu nodded silently again, then turned his attention out the window. The pair had been by a good-looking and well-dressed, but eerie, young man who called himself "Naraku". He had explained only that he had a disagreement with a certain unnamed individual, and wanted said individual's wife kidnapped to get the point across. Naraku had showed them a photo and given her name and location before promising to pay handsomely if the job was completed to his satisfaction. He promised to supply directions and call periodically, either to check on their progress or give further instructions. Naraku did not exactly inspire trust, but Bankotsu and Jakotsu agreed to work with him for this short time, and to abide by the rule known to all mercenaries, "Don't ask too many questions."

Just as Bankotsu had said, the pair arrived in Tai City within the hour and had dinner. They then went to the hotel to check in and unpack before hitting up one of the local bordellos. Bankotsu, who had booked a room for two, albeit one with separate beds, put on a black T-shirt and jeans. "Ready, Jak?" he asked, being familiar enough with his accomplice to use a nickname. "I have to get ready," Jakotsu answered, and locked himself in the bathroom with a plastic bag filled with items. Fifteen minutes passed, until Bankotsu, who had been impatiently wandering the room, banged on the door. "Come on, bro, hurry up!" The door finally opened, and the sight that greeted Bankotsu's eyes made his jaw drop.  
"Ta-dah!"  
Jakotsu was dressed up in some kind of bizarre bondage outfit, with two blue markings above and below each eye, and luscious, red, fully made-up lips. It had been easy enough to figure out he was a boy before; now he looked like a hot piece of jailbait.  
"...What are you supposed to be?" Bankotsu said, asking the first question that came to mind.  
Jakotsu pouted and smoothed back his hair. "Despicably sexy. Utterly irresistible."  
Bankotsu snorted. "Oh. Yeah. I've heard a lot about how much women go for homos."  
"Metro, in my case." Jakotsu corrected.  
"No difference."  
"Actually, there's a pretty big difference."  
"Let's just go," Bankotsu decided, rolling his eyes. "And hope the concierge doesn't think we're together."  
"But...we are "together".  
"GET GOING!"

Some time later, the car rolled down the city street in the dead of night. The drag queen in the passenger seat was joyful and upbeat, while the driver seemed rather unhappy.  
"Boy, Ban!" Jakotsu laughed, "You should've seen the girls they picked out for me. God knows how many hairs I swallowed or how many foreign STDs I picked up, but I had the time of my life! Who'd the lady pair you up with?" Jak asked, nudging his buddy in a conspiratory manner. When Bankotsu didn't respond, the cross-dressing man looked concerned. "Ban?"  
"I don't want to talk about it." Bankotsu answered, tight-lipped.  
"Come on, it couldn't have been-"  
"I SAID, I don't want to talk about it."

Jakotsu looked back out the windshield for a moment before tuning the radio to "Working for the Weekend" and rocking out. Bankotsu, meanwhile, brooded over his lot.


End file.
